Sign over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

At a proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in."

On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On a plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a septic tank truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business".

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

At a towing company: "We don't want an arm and a leg. We want your tows."

On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and be fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a propane filling station, "Tank heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."